Just seeing you there was hard. You were so helpless. You looked bad. Even in a room full of San franciscos sickest. Your lung was collapsed. Your stomach was perforated. They had to do surgery. Now there you were. Laying there. Barely alive. You had a chest tube. And a feeding tube. And a ventilator tube. And a catheter tube. And an IV tube. I'm glad you're sedated. Because a man shouldn't have to see himself with so many tubes. You couldn't talk. Or even open your eyes. I tried to talk to you. You squeezed my hand. I think you heard me. But I can't be sure. I keep coming back. Day after day. I want to be there when you wake up. I want you to see a familiar face. We were never very close. By the looks of it we never will be. But I think you should see a familiar face when you wake up. It's strange. Seeing you like this. We don't know each other well. But I can see that we have the same hands. Whether there's more in common I cannot say. There's not really enough left anymore. And there's just so many tubes. But, as it turns out, the hands are enough. Just seeing my own hands like that. I can't help but be transported to my own death bed. You can't speak, so we don't talk. But in this silence I find I experience more than we could have covered in dialogue. And in the silence i can hear the moments ticking away. And there are just so few. Just looking there. At those hands. My hands. I am mortal. I am mortal. But this shouldn't be about me. I want to be here for you. Even if we don't really know each other very well. They say you had cocaine in your system when they brought you in. Could that be me one day? the presence of drugs was the crutch others were looking for. Now they don't have to feel bad. It's not their fault you chose to throw your life away. That you've thrown it down the tube. But somehow that's not how I feel. Our minds are out to get us. That much I know. Yours must have been strong. A force to be reckoned with. How painful it must have been. All these years. And the pain begets pain. It was hard seeing you there. So sick and so desperate. And with so many tubes. And those hands.