I’ve suffered a loss
A death in the family.
As is so often the case,
I know I had known this day would come,
Eventually. Ugh.
Now that it’s here it’s time to reflect
on the time spent together.
Good times.
Passionate times.
Usually motivating.
Sometimes, soul crushing -
Discouragement intertwined with intense longing.
Always intoxicating.

For all of those days,
I’ll forever be grateful,
Albeit always a little ashamed
That I didn’t make better use of the time we had.

Looking back at these final years
And the weeks leading up to the end
There is some peace to temper the mourning.
I guess it’s solace in knowing
the day I’d always secretly feared
Has finally come.
The weight of keeping a secret from oneself
is a burden hard to bear.

So here I lift my silence
And like so many before
Admit that I am mortal
and that, recently,
my youth slipped, silently,
Out the back door
While I slept, cluelessly.
I’ll try to be accepting.
To make the best despite knowing
The best is not yet to come.

I’ve suffered a loss.
A death in the family.
A dream held so dearly
Has faded in the face of forever.
And from this day forward
I’ll be just another aging man
With only the dreams, dearly held,
Of memories that might have been.